Heat ghee or oil in a pan over medium heat. Add the cumin seeds. They should immediately sizzle and release a warm, earthy aroma within 10 seconds, which builds the flavor foundation.
Add the finely chopped onions. Sauté for 4 to 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until they turn translucent and soft with a light golden-brown blush on the edges.
Stir in the minced ginger, garlic, and chopped green chilies. Sauté for 1 minute until the raw garlic smell disappears and the kitchen smells wonderfully aromatic.
Toss in the chopped tomatoes, turmeric, Kashmiri red chili powder, coriander powder, and salt. Cook for 3 to 4 minutes, mashing the tomatoes with your spatula, until they break down completely into a jammy paste and small beads of oil glisten at the edges.
Crumble the paneer directly into the pan. Stir gently to combine it with the masala. Cook for only 2 to 3 minutes until the paneer is warmed through. If using, stir in the 2 tablespoons of milk now to keep it incredibly soft and juicy.
Sprinkle the garam masala and fresh cilantro over the top. Rub the kasuri methi between your palms directly over the pan to release its oils. Give it a final, quick stir, turn off the heat immediately, and serve hot.